Why you, yes you, need a babysitter this weekend
I don't have all the answers about how to fix the stress of parenting in the US. But there's one thing you can do to get a quick break.
Like every other parent or expecting parent on the internet, I saw the recent news about the surgeon general’s warning about the mental health and well-being of parents buzzing around group chats, parent message boards, and even as a dedicated episode of The Daily. If you missed it, here’s the TL;DR:
Today’s parents are stressed to the level that’s become a public health crisis, similar to recent warnings about loneliness and child use of social media.
The stress is driven by what’s called intensive parenting, driven by societal pressure to ensure children succeed in this increasingly tough economy. Parents are spending more time playing with and educating their children than ever, constantly optimizing and stimulating them with the goal of improving their long-term outcomes. The most mind-boggling stat that was shared (and reshared by moms everywhere) is that working moms today spend as much time with their children as stay-at-home moms did in the 1970s.
Parents feel unsupported by the government, their community, and feel like they can’t talk about how overwhelmed they are.
After taking a few deep breaths, the reaction of every parent I know was “sure, but now what?” How do we encourage the type of societal change that would be required to reduce this issue at a systemic level? How can we break away from parenting driven by fear of judgment by our peers? Will my actions today leave a lasting impact on my kids’ future successes?
I don’t have the answers to these undoubtedly important questions, but I know of one thing you can do to temporarily pause the persistent worry: this weekend, get a babysitter. Take a few hours by yourself, with your partner, or a friend or two. Go to a movie. Get a pedicure. Try to snag a seat at the new wine bar in your neighborhood and bring a book (and if you want a page turner, here’s my suggestion). While some of these problems feel insurmountable, it’s important to come up for air. You aren’t just a parent, you’re a person. A person who wants to be able to chime in about their opinion on the new SNL movie or be complimented on their nail color by a colleague. This break won’t make your worries go away, but maybe they’ll provide a moment of clarity, or just a bit of distance from constantly hearing “mommy” being called from two rooms away. Sounds nice, right?
At Brooklyn Babysitters, we have experienced sitters who would love the opportunity to take care of your kids for a few hours—so let them! Your kids might miss you, but they’ll be busy being entertained by the silly voices their babysitter makes while reading Captain Underpants. You’ll be home in the morning to give them the biggest hug. You always are.